Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
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An Expensive Temper Tantrum, Part 2
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on March 17, 2008
(Backstory: I sold a woman four phones on a family plan for her and her 3 teenage daughters. She insisted that she be put on the 500 minute plan (the smallest family plan). I informed her that most teenagers can use 500 minutes in a week and begged her to take a larger plan. She refused and became quite angry and beligerent with me for suggesting “that her daughters were not responsible...
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Wesley Called, He Wants His Tan Back
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on May 08, 2008
(Customer walks in and is a bright white Jewish guy with a big beard.)Me: “How may I help you?”Customer: “Hi, my brother says you can give me a tan so I can look like Wesley Snipes.”Me: “What?”Customer: “You know Wesley Snipes, He’s got a great tan. It looks like he’s a real black guy.”Me: “Wesley Snipes IS a REAL black guy.”Customer: “Yeah, because of the great tan...
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PINheaded
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on January 23, 2008
Customer: “Hey, somebody painted the wall outside the branch I use!”Me: “Yes sir. What seems to be the problem?”Customer: “Well now I don’t know my PIN number!”Me: “I’m sorry–I’m not sure what that has to do with the wall being painted.”Customer: “I wrote my PIN number on the wall beside the ATM! NOW what am I supposed to do?!?!”Me: “…”
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Breaking The Terms of Service, LA-Style
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on January 31, 2008
(A customer is looking at a laptop. I approach to help.)Me: “That’s a really great computer.”Customer: “I don’t need a computer. I need wireless internet.”Me: “Alright, how much range do you need cover?”Customer, dead serious: “From here to Santa Monica.”(Note: This is about a distance of ten miles.)Me: “Alright, let’s start over. This time I’ll be from the future.”
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The Problem With Blank Checks
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on January 30, 2008
(Takes place over phone.)Me: “Nutrition, this is–”Patient: “Yeah, I don’t want beef stew. I want something different. My nurse said I’m on a regular diet and can have anything I want.”Me: “Alright, do you know what you would like?”Patient: “I want two Pepsis; chicken strips with ranch, and honey mustard; a baked potato with sour cream, butter, and bacon bits; another apple...
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DE TING, DE TING!!!
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on February 02, 2008
(I worked tech support for a major software company, specifically with their digital media products. This call was about their video editing software.)Me: “Thanks for calling ***** tech support. (The customer gives me her info and has a thick accent I can’t place.)Me: “Great! What can I do for you?”Her: “Yes. I am trying to edit dees beedio, and eet’s blue and blue on de ting.”Me:...
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No More Miss Cleo For You
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on February 02, 2008
Me: “Thank you for calling guest relations. This is ******* speaking. How may I help you?”Customer: “Yes. One of your hotels stole something from me and I would like you to return that item to me or I will sue you.”Me: “We will certainly conduct an investigation. What property was it left at?”Customer: “The Holiday Inn.”Me: “Ok…what city and state?”Customer: ...
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Suddenly, I Feel Very Sorry For Her Child
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on February 01, 2008
Woman: Excuse me, I’ve lost my child somewhere in the store.Me: “Okay, I’ll get someone right away.” (I call in a code yellow.)Me: “Okay, how old is your child?”Woman: “She’d just turned three. Ooohhh, what if she’s been kidnapped?”Me: “Don’t worry, I’m sure that’s not the case.”(Security comes up to talk to her and she turns around.) Security: “Ma’am, how many...
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Love Thy (Unwittingly Generous) Neighbor
via Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes by admin on February 04, 2008
Customer: My wireless network’s down. The modem says it’s connected but none of us can browse.Me: “Can you ping the modem? … No? Ok, I’ll need you to connect to the modem with a cable, and log into the configuration page. Great. Now click on the ‘wireless’ tab.”Customer: “There’s no wireless tab.”Me: “What model of modem do you have?”Customer: “An Open 624.”Me:...
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