Futility Closet
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Encore!
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on January 22, 2008
Reportedly the world's shortest play is The Exile, by Tristan Bernard.The curtain rises on a mountaineer in a remote cabin. An exile knocks on the door.EXILE: Whoever you are, have pity on a hunted man. There is a price on my head.MOUNTAINEER: How mu
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Limerick
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on January 30, 2008
A young schizophrenic named Struther,When told of the death of his brother,Said: "Yes, it's too bad,But I can't feel too sad –After all, I still have each other."– Anonymous
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APT = PAT
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on January 31, 2008
More anagrams:ANGERED = ENRAGEDPROBLEM IN CHINESE = INCOMPREHENSIBLEDECIMAL POINT = I'M A DOT IN PLACEDELICATESSEN = ENSLICED EATSFRAGILE = E.G., FRAILARMAGEDDON = MAD GOD NEARWAITRESS = A STEW, SIR?STORMY WEATHER = SHOWERY MATTERTHE RELIEF PITCHER = FIERCE HITTER? HELP!WILD OATS = SOW IT, LADFALSEHOOD = HAS FOOLEDSUNBATHE = HEAT BUNSTHE PIANO BENCH = BENEATH CHOPIN
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Stumper
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 04, 2008
Plutarch wrote that Homer died of exasperation because he couldn't solve a fisherman's riddle:"What we have caught we threw away; what we could not catch we kept."The answer is "fleas."
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Apt Pupil
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 05, 2008
Schoolmaster: Suppose x is the number of sheep in the problem.Pupil: But, sir, suppose x is not the number of sheep.Mathematician J.E. Littlewood remarks: "I asked Prof. Wittgenstein was this not a profound philosophical joke, and he said it was."
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Reading Music
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 05, 2008
Philadelphia physician Arthur Lintgen can recognize classical phonograph records without hearing them. By studying the spacing and patterns of the grooves, the structure of the vinyl, and the number and length of the movements, he can identify most orchestral music composed since Beethoven's time.He's been tested several times, once in the presence of two musicians from major American...
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Pravda
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 07, 2008
... Soviet automakers challenged their American counterparts to a competition at the Brussels World's Fair in 1958.A Swiss engineer made an exhaustive comparison of a Soviet and an American car, and he favored the American.After an awkward pause, the Soviet press reported that "in a recent international auto competition, the Russian car placed second and the American car was next to last."
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Bard Capers
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 07, 2008
According to Oliver Goldsmith, Thomas Parnell once overheard Alexander Pope reading a draft of The Rape of the Lock to Jonathan Swift, memorized the description of the Toilet, and translated it into monkish Latin. The next day he confronted Pope with the counterfeit verse and accused him of plagiarism, "and it was not till after some time that Pope was delivered from the confusion which it at...
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Oh
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 12, 2008
Croesus asked the oracle at Delphi whether he should attack the Persians. She replied that if he went to war, he would destroy a great empire.Croesus attacked, but the Persians beat him back, invaded his kingdom, and threw him into chains. He sent another message to the oracle: "Why did you deceive me?"She replied that she had not deceived him — he had indeed destroyed a great empire.
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Easy Money
via Futility Closet by Greg Ross on February 25, 2008
In July 1891, an engineer named Charles Wells went to Monte Carlo with £4000, broke the bank 12 times in 11 hours, and came away with a million francs.He returned in November and made another million.The casino never discovered his system.
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